Voices condemned you, war against you from the inside. It tells you that you don’t deserved to be called a disciple of Christ.
You’ve done too many bad things, played the hypocrite, bathe in the comfort of indulgence. Never have you shown love to your enemies or give bread to the beggar who was hungry when you had the chance.
Don’t let those voice of condemnation pull you down, keep fighting until you overcome the evil in you and until you crucified the ego that made you act selfishly.
You get to fight another day and correct your mistakes (Lam 3:22-23), and as long as you are trying you will eventually succeed.